Okay Calm Down


First off, I got way too much feedback for that post I made yesterday. Too many drunk people looking for coding websites out at once.

But in actuality I am here to stall myself from writing things like oh college essays, scholarships, short films, and a play. Yet those require a lot of thought and actual consideration of what I’m doing. On here I can spew madness for as long as I desire.

Then I remembered I said that this would be a comedy blog and I spent the whole day going, “There’s no fucking way I can do that. The pressure of being funny is too much.” So if you were expecting this to keep being funny, stop getting drunk and looking at blogs.

Don’t drunk and blog kids. You end up in sad word holes like here. Man, if one day this blog comes back to haunt me I’m… I don’t know. But what I’m imagining is I’m at a big job interview and they sit me down and are like, “So you want to write for Disney Animations right?” I nod and say, “Oh yes of course that’s been my dream since I was child!” And the person just flips the page on their clipboard and goes, “Well we did some research and found this blog that belonged to you back in 2016…”

I’d be jumping out of that office window and changing my identity as I cross the border into Canada.

Oh, man. I’m that character that sees a big red button that says “DO NOT PRESS” and then slams it repeatedly. This is all a very bad idea and I am going to continue slamming this keyboard.



Eight Months


I haven’t looked at this blog in eight months.

Eight. Months.

I’m actually between mortification, embarrassment, and solid amusement. This blog is basically a diary 2.0 because when I was a young, innocent fool I tried keeping a diary and it went exactly like this.

I’m also amused because my last post was Hamilton related and I am still as obsessed with that musical as I was eight months ago and still as likely to see the show as I was eight months ago. AKA not in the near future.

I don’t expect anyone to ever read this blog except a few scragglers who were trying to get to some coding website and are very drunk.

I’m not even going to lie and say I’m going to try and post more now.

I’ll type some crap up in another eight months maybe.  In reality I might come barf up some words on here to stall myself from writing other more pressing matters (As I am doing right this moment).

This is a comedy blog. Comedic in its very existence.

Washington and Ham

Hello readers,

I am writing to stall having to finish my homework which has to be done today.

Today is the day before school starts *cue the screams* but for me I do not have to go back just yet *cheers for me.*

Tomorrow I will get in a plane for the first time in 8 maybe 9 years and fly to Washington D.C. *more cheers for me.*

It’s a fly there in the morning, fly back at night trip because it’s mainly a business thing my parents have to do but I’m excited to finally at least walk around the nation’s capital a little bit.

I am going to look for as much Alexander Hamilton relics as I can on this short trip. I guess this is the appropriate time to mention I am obsessed with the “New American Musical: Hamilton” written and performed by the one and only Lin-Manuel Miranda. What a man.

Hamilton has rapidly exploded over the Interwebs to my great pleasure. I am guilty to have been listening to the 46-song album non-stop (someone will get that reference) since it was dropped on NPR a few months ago…?

Actually I don’t exactly remember the time it was released. I don’t remember much before Hamilton came into my life. It has overtaken me.

This is one reason I’m so excited to go to D.C. the other being is I’m a history nerd and want to look at artifacts, monuments, and just embrace being in such an old city.

Also there might even be snow, which I’m not sure exists so we’ll see about that. Being a Floridian the coldest I’ve withstood has to be 30 degrees Fahrenheit and according to Google it might be 36 degrees tomorrow. Now I finally have a legitimate reason to wear a coat.

I will attempt to take pictures and then write and post about the trip in the near future.

As for you readers go listen to Hamilton.

It’s the First Day of the Year (First Day of the Year!)

Hello readers,

As WordPress has informed me that “January 1 is your best day for follows” I felt it must be time for a little humble thank you to the various people who have seen something they like on this meager blog. Much thank.

And as it is the first day of 2016 and I have already shared that Tale with you all I thought I’d give a little backstory to why I wrote it.

I did mention I wrote it near Halloween which is the main pretense of why I created that odd story. But in reality it was an assignment.

At my school, which is a Conservatory of the Arts, there are several magnets: Dance, Drama, Music, Art, etc. I am in the “i-Write” magnet for Creative Writing, and every Friday there is a thing called “COTA Con” where a specific magnet does a small showcase of their respective ability.

The first i-Write COTA Con was a the Friday nearest Halloween and thus one of the Creative Writing teachers, Mrs. Parker, gave the idea that all the writing freaks  students would write a scary story “with a twist.”

Initially I was pretty excited trying to come up with an idea for that story and in actuality I always find people slowly losing their minds the most frightening type of stories.

Which is why I chose to have this auburn haired woman get trapped in some odd parallel universe room until she lost her mind in the vastness of it.

Of course the last person trapped in the room, the blonde, was the one making sure of the red head’s death so they could escape. Or at least in my head that’s how I planned it.

You see, for the COTA Con everyone who wrote was assigned to specific classrooms to go read their story and after I had read it to numerous children I found many people interpreted it differently.

I thought that was the best part of “No One Notices” because that means I succeeded in getting people to use their own imaginations to come up with a reasoning for the story.

It was an interesting experience reading my story to so many people, but overall I enjoyed it. Days later people would still come up to me and say, “You’re the one that wrote that story about the room! That was my favorite!”

I find nothing brings more joy to children then stories with a little death.

A New Years Tale: “No One Notices”

Hello readers,

So in celebration of it being 2016 and whatnot I’m posting a short story I wrote near Halloween times. It’s suppose to be “creepy” and “shocking.”

I hope you enjoy it.

The room was empty. It was always empty and no one ever noticed. In fact no one even noticed the room.

They were all too preoccupied with their droning lives and their draining time.

But. Sometimes, someone would notice.

They’d see the golden encrusted door knob beckoning to them. The door itself hidden behind a senseless mural that collided with the human eye as unnatural and disquieting.

This time a young woman spotted the entrance because she happened to have an enriching life and an endless landscape of time.

As the irresistible flush of curiosity gnawed at her insides she seized the golden knob and swung herself inside.

The last thing seen from the outside was a flash of her ruby mane.

Once inside she quickly discovered the empty room. Disappointment slapping her excitement cleanly off her mind.

Turning to leave she reaches for the knob and just as her fingers wrap around it fades to a pleasant mist in her hand.

Gasping she recoils as if it had burnt her. Now in a panic she quickly searches the room. Knobs appear all around but each one disappears under her no longer eager touch.

Collapsing to the ground she lies there wheezing heavily from fear or exhaustion she knows not.

Eventually a wave of sleep oozes her away from her now twisted reality.

She awakens to find a cloaked figure circling around her. Streaks of gold slip into view from below the heavily shadowed hood.

The woman cries out to the figure pleading for assistance. When the figure fails to form a response she regains her spirited confidence and reaches for the cloak.

She screams as a blinding pain knocks her back  to the ground and when she opens her eyes the room and cloaked figure have been replaced with an endless field of tall grass.

Scrambling to her feet she runs in no particular direction hoping to find civilization.

Hours pass. Perhaps days, before she falls to her knees in despair, the longer she ran the more the landscape remained the same.

She decided to keep herself busy: she danced,she sang, she jumped, she skipped, she laughed, she cried, she screamed, and moaned, and moped, and chattered— did anything but sit still.

At last she tired and she lay motionless. Longing for her mother. Her brother. Her lover.

She mourns her own absence in civilization.

She begins to try and make herself feel alive once more, but she can no longer move her own limbs.

Slowly, and ever so slowly, her fiery mane melts into the faulty ground below her staining it with what looked like blood.

Then the room returned.


But the door opened and the last thing seen from the inside was a flash of a golden mane and the knob gradually being tainted in a ruby scarlet shade.

The room was empty.

It was never empty and no one ever noticed.

I am Compensating

Hello readers,

Looking back at my past posts I notice I start all of them by apologizing for never writing or being a good blogger so if I do have any readers I think you get the gist of my bad blogging consistency.

In my last post I said I’d go into more detail about switching schools so I guess I’ll start there.

It’s Winter Break currently and officially the halfway point of the school year. I have obtained friends I guess and no longer eat in my teacher’s classroom.

This is a victory in many ways, but if you look at how that happened it’s more like I was forced to go eat somewhere else. I don’t hold resentment because of that because being “forced” is a little like being pushed. And being pushed is often what everyone needs now and then. Just like when you go on a swing. As a kid all you wanted was for anyone to push you higher and higher so you could kick your heels up to touch the sky and fly for two glorious seconds. And as kids we’re constantly being pushed. Pushed to start walking, pushed to start school, pushed to dress ourselves, pushed to eat with utensils.

And when we grow up and learn how to swing ourselves and no longer actually need anyone to push on the swing, there are those moments where you just want someone to push you. To give you that vital shove that’ll kick-start you into your ascent where you can start soaring back and forth on the swing on your own.

So after finally being pushed I have friends, or at least people to talk to everyday. It’s a hella small school, pretty confident my graduating class has a whopping 40 kids. Maybe even less than that. So everyone, and I mean everyone knows each other.

It is always unnerving when someone I’m confident I’ve never spoken to/seen before walks by and says, “Hi Melissa!” with a bright smile and all I can do is try and wrack my brain to see if beyond all the nerdy stuff I fill it with if there is a memory of said person.

In actuality I thought this small school (small town) thing would be really exciting and amazing as it is in the books or film, but alas it unnerves me more than anything. I miss being in a huge school and being able to just loose myself in the sea of different faces everyday.

Not to mention this school is built like a prison and has no windows in any of the buildings in contrast to my old school where natural sunlight poured into many of the classrooms. The fluorescent glow of the school haunts my nightmares and there are moments where I feel so stuffed and gray I often plan on filing a complaint. Then I get lazy and never write anything of the sorts. Kind of like me and blogging.

I’m growing to like my new school enough, but there’s always those small moments of “Wow I still don’t fit.” But whatever as Dory said, “Just keep swimming.” Which is good advice for most things. There’s only a year left here and then I gotta freak out about college. *shudder*

On the bright side though, dear readers, at least at this school I’m working on films and such. I recently recorded my first short film. Lots of murder in it and I got to record at school so holler. I’ll eventually write about how that came out. I still don’t even know.

On another tangent I’ve reverted to my natural coping mechanism of finding new fandoms to indulge my self with. Recently I’ve gotten really into the whole podcast thing. So I’m going to make a small shout out to the following podcasts:

Hello From the Magic Tavern. Hilarious. Highly recommend if you want to laugh and love fantasy stuff. Chunt’s up with that?

The Leviathan Chronicles. If you love Drama, mysterious plot lines filled with action and plot twists, amazing ships, and wanting to scream I recommend this one.

Dear Hank and John. Or as I like to think of it as Dear John and Hank. A comedy podcast of John and Hank Green answering people’s questions and bringing you all the updates from Mars and AFC Wimbeldon. There are short poems and lots of talk about death. Very funny podcast… OH MY GOD IT’S BURNING.

I’ve been listening to Welcome to Night Vale for a year now and still recommend it to everyone. What an amazing and incredibly weird podcast. The writers released a book recently which I cannot wait to read.

I’m done with my podcast fangirling. In summary: get with it.

As it is New Years Eve I hope everyone reading enjoys 2016 or at least hates it a little less than 2015. Perhaps in 2016 I will blog more, perhaps maybe even less. I make no promises. I mean to any one who reads my blog thank you for doing that. That’s weird of you.

Happy New Year

Oh Wow Yes This Exists

Hello readers,

Okay so I’ve decided I’m a terrible blogger and give up my Honorary Blooger Badge.

Kidding nobody ever gave me one but if they did I would be turning it in right now.

A lot has been happening that has kept me away from the whole “Keeping a blog” business. Such as, moving, school starting, lack of wi-fi (pronounced wee-fee in my head), etc etc.

I will catch you up on how much switching schools is an unfortunate event. I tip my hat to all those kids who have been to over 5 different schools in their public education lives because this is my second time switching and I’m barely getting by with what’s left of my pride.

The people at this new school of mine are so different from what I’ve known all of my public school life. There are those really nice people who’ll talk to you in class then when it comes to any time outside of class I am a foreign unwanted stranger. I’m starting to think maybe if they let me into their friend groups I’d be an embarrassment of sorts: “Why’d you bring her here?”

Or I could just smell funny.

Yes I know I’ve gotten the advice of just sitting down with people and introducing myself into the conversation/group but really I can’t be that guy. Forcing people to be my friend, nah I guess if no one wants me I’ll just keep eating lunch in my teacher’s classroom. It’s nicer in there anyway.

Then again there’s always Plan B: Act purposely weird just so people will think I’m crazy and now have a definite reason of not wanting me as their friend.

Because now and days it’s become this verb “Go and make friends.” Make friends? It’s become this idea that you can just make them as if it was something as simple as making a sandwich.

I don’t want to do that there’s say at most two people who I can consider as friends everyone else is still an acquaintance in my mind and that’s okay because I didn’t have to make those two friends. They just are, slowly creating a steady bond of trust and companionship.

That’s how I see friendships happening not “making” them, that’s ridiculous. If we could make them there’d have to be a store for that, “Yes I’d like my new friend to be a girl my age with blonde hair and is funny and likes Percy Jackson.”

Thankfully that hasn’t happened yet. But I’m a writer so I can write up people all the time, but I think you get my point.

Now I have to actually go do homework because I decided to type this blog post as a form of stalling. Now I will commence on Algebra 2 homework.

I might be better at this blogging thing one day.