Looking back at my past posts I notice I start all of them by apologizing for never writing or being a good blogger so if I do have any readers I think you get the gist of my bad blogging consistency.
In my last post I said I’d go into more detail about switching schools so I guess I’ll start there.
It’s Winter Break currently and officially the halfway point of the school year. I have obtained friends I guess and no longer eat in my teacher’s classroom.
This is a victory in many ways, but if you look at how that happened it’s more like I was forced to go eat somewhere else. I don’t hold resentment because of that because being “forced” is a little like being pushed. And being pushed is often what everyone needs now and then. Just like when you go on a swing. As a kid all you wanted was for anyone to push you higher and higher so you could kick your heels up to touch the sky and fly for two glorious seconds. And as kids we’re constantly being pushed. Pushed to start walking, pushed to start school, pushed to dress ourselves, pushed to eat with utensils.
And when we grow up and learn how to swing ourselves and no longer actually need anyone to push on the swing, there are those moments where you just want someone to push you. To give you that vital shove that’ll kick-start you into your ascent where you can start soaring back and forth on the swing on your own.
So after finally being pushed I have friends, or at least people to talk to everyday. It’s a hella small school, pretty confident my graduating class has a whopping 40 kids. Maybe even less than that. So everyone, and I mean everyone knows each other.
It is always unnerving when someone I’m confident I’ve never spoken to/seen before walks by and says, “Hi Melissa!” with a bright smile and all I can do is try and wrack my brain to see if beyond all the nerdy stuff I fill it with if there is a memory of said person.
In actuality I thought this small school (small town) thing would be really exciting and amazing as it is in the books or film, but alas it unnerves me more than anything. I miss being in a huge school and being able to just loose myself in the sea of different faces everyday.
Not to mention this school is built like a prison and has no windows in any of the buildings in contrast to my old school where natural sunlight poured into many of the classrooms. The fluorescent glow of the school haunts my nightmares and there are moments where I feel so stuffed and gray I often plan on filing a complaint. Then I get lazy and never write anything of the sorts. Kind of like me and blogging.
I’m growing to like my new school enough, but there’s always those small moments of “Wow I still don’t fit.” But whatever as Dory said, “Just keep swimming.” Which is good advice for most things. There’s only a year left here and then I gotta freak out about college. *shudder*
On the bright side though, dear readers, at least at this school I’m working on films and such. I recently recorded my first short film. Lots of murder in it and I got to record at school so holler. I’ll eventually write about how that came out. I still don’t even know.
On another tangent I’ve reverted to my natural coping mechanism of finding new fandoms to indulge my self with. Recently I’ve gotten really into the whole podcast thing. So I’m going to make a small shout out to the following podcasts:
Hello From the Magic Tavern. Hilarious. Highly recommend if you want to laugh and love fantasy stuff. Chunt’s up with that?
The Leviathan Chronicles. If you love Drama, mysterious plot lines filled with action and plot twists, amazing ships, and wanting to scream I recommend this one.
Dear Hank and John. Or as I like to think of it as Dear John and Hank. A comedy podcast of John and Hank Green answering people’s questions and bringing you all the updates from Mars and AFC Wimbeldon. There are short poems and lots of talk about death. Very funny podcast… OH MY GOD IT’S BURNING.
I’ve been listening to Welcome to Night Vale for a year now and still recommend it to everyone. What an amazing and incredibly weird podcast. The writers released a book recently which I cannot wait to read.
I’m done with my podcast fangirling. In summary: get with it.
As it is New Years Eve I hope everyone reading enjoys 2016 or at least hates it a little less than 2015. Perhaps in 2016 I will blog more, perhaps maybe even less. I make no promises. I mean to any one who reads my blog thank you for doing that. That’s weird of you.
Happy New Year